Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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