Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
