Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
