Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
