I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
