i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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