It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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