it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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