this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm at about main and main street
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
