Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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