hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
