Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
