whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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