The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
