I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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