he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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