Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
