You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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