the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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