HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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