Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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