meet me or not, i'm out of control
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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