Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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