For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
