I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
