Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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