but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
