Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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