Just cropdusted the office
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
