I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Randomize