Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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