ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize