Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
