i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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