Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
