Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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