I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
