dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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