I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
