was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
