oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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