He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
