He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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