It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
