moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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