Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
