The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
