Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
