ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
