you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
