who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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