waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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