And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
