I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
