omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
