Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
