Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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