Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
