I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
