I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
