David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
