Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
