yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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