Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
