The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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