I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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