I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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