FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
